Forever In His Arms
by Trinity8
Summary: Hermione is reminiscing of the times she spent with Harry, and the promises they made 2 each other. Much sadness is endured. Last Chapter, here is the end.
1. Rememberance

A/N: This is the first ever ff that I have written about Harry's death. I was quite angry at the world when I wrote it, but now that's cleared up! I had also just finished watching The Virgin Suicides, which was really sad! It got me in the mood to write depressing stuff, so here we go! (Hope none of you take too much offence at this, coz this is purely from the views of Hermione!) Please r & r!

I've always wondered what it would be like to die, would it be painful, or would it be peaceful and serene. After Harry died, I always thought that he'd come back to tell me what it was like. I waited two long years, was mourning over his grave for that length of time.

 He was 17 when he died, long before he should have done. He died trying to save me from Voldemort, died because he loved me. Maybe he loved me too much. No, it's not that I didn't love him back; I did, with all of my heart. I never loved (and probably never will love) someone as much as I loved Harry James Potter. But it still causes me pain to think of him.

 I loved him more than anyone could ever imagine loving another person. I knew that he loved me in return, because a month or so before he died, he had asked me to marry him. I agreed, and then we started kissing whilst sat on my bed. One thing led to another, and I ended up sleeping with him. I knew that I was ready for that commitment, because I loved him so much. We had only done it a couple of times after that, and so when I found out that I was pregnant, I knew that the baby was his. I didn't want to tell him, because I wanted it to be a surprise. Then, a couple of days after I found out, he died.

 Voldemort knew that Harry loved me (unfortunately, they had a sort of link, through Harry's scar), and he would also stop at nothing to torture and kill all of the people that Harry cared about. Voldemort came after us one day when we were out, and tried to kill me. Harry stood in front of my to protect me, then Voldemort delivered to Harry the fatal wound, that would have taken my life instead of his. After he had delivered the wound, Voldemort disapperated, leaving me cradling a dying Harry in my arms. As he was dying, Harry said these words to me:

 "I have to tell you this, because I don't know if I made it clear before. I love you, (at this point I burst into tears) and no matter what happens, that will never change."

 I then realised that this would be that last chance that I would have to tell Harry, so I said to him:

 "Harry! I love you too! I have something to tell you, you are going to be a dad. I'm pregnant."

 "I was going to be a dad? Why didn't you tell me before?"

 "I'm not quite sure, I…. Harry, I do love you, and I know that whatever happens, you'll be with me."

 As I said this, I saw his beautiful emerald eyes light up one last time. I let my lips join with his for our last kiss shared on this world. The last words he said to me were:

 "This is my time now. It will be your time eventually Hermione, and when that happens, I'll be waiting for you; I could never live another life without you. I love you."

 And then he died. As I sat, cradling him in my arms, still crying relentlessly, I knew that he had gone. I then simply said:

 "At least this way you'll stay young and gorgeous for all eternity."

 I could never bring myself to let him go, I cared that much for him. I needed him to start my day; I couldn't cope without seeing his face, his deep eyes into which I could stare for hours. I couldn't bring myself to realise that he had gone, and that my life was still to be lived. I knew that it should have been me that died, and now, the guilty conscience settled in, never to leave. Every day, I thought of him, and the feelings I had for him never grew less.

 I'll never forget that day, and even now, 3 years on, I can remember the good times we had in a relationship, and when we had had adventures with Ron. And I know, deep down inside of me, that he has never left my side. He was with me for the birth of our daughter, and for all of her major milestones to date. I know that he is up there somewhere, smiling down on me, waiting for the day that I will return to him, be forever in his arms.

A/N: Wah! I was feeling dead emotional! I have had a rubbish day! I am on my period (boohoo!), but I know of at least 2 gud things that have happened (or are going to happen). 1. You are reading this! Thanx v much! And 2, It's my birthday 2 moro! (June 6th!) If I don't get 25 reviews, then I will cry & not write nemore! Boohoo! And now I'm listening 2 Blurry (Puddle of Mudd) and its v sad, but gud neway!


	2. Truth

A/N: Not many people have reviewed this so far. Do you think its crap? If so, STILL review, and then I'll be happy. I felt like doing another chapter for this, and I think that there will only be 3 or 4, coz it will begin to be repetitive. Oh well, on with the fic, and thanks to the 2 people that have reviewed so far! *hints at reviewers!*

 I **will **love him forever, that is a promise. But that also could be the reason as to why I'm in so much pain. He would never have wanted me to be in pain over him, he would have wanted me to be happy. Both of us, Holly and I, moved in with Draco after I had been dating him for 5 months or so.

 Holly is our (mine and Harry's) daughter. I named her in pure memory of him; his wand was made of Holly wood. Her middle name is Willow, because that is what my wand is made of. Holly Willow Potter, our daughter, a symbol of our unity, the proof of our love.

 She's 3 years old now, and looks a lot like her father. She has his beautiful green eyes, the eyes that drew me to him on that first fateful day at Hogwarts. I had instantly fallen in love with him, though I kept my feelings to myself until 5th year, after Cho had dumped him. I was comforting him, happy to be that close to him. He kissed me, and told me that he loved me. I then also came to tell him about my feelings for him.

 When we were made Head Girl and Boy, we were the happiest we had ever been. I was always sneaking into his room at night; saw no point in us sleeping in separate beds when we loved each other so much. We were 17 for God's sake, what would you expect?

 Two months before he died, it was my bed that we slept in; he was the one making midnight visits to me. That went on for a month or so, until he asked me to marry him. Then it grew to be much more than just sleeping next to each other.

 He died the day after we had finished Hogwarts, and yet I still can't get him out of my head. I'm 20 now, it's been 3 years, yet I'm still hoping he'll walk through the door and take me into his arms, so I can once again be enveloped in his scent, once again get lost in his beautiful green eyes, so enchanting.

 I yearn for him so much, my heart aches. I want it to be him lying in the bed next to me, not Draco. Don't get me wrong, I love Draco, that's why I'm married to him, but he just isn't Harry. He loves me a lot, but I just don't have that intense feeling that I got when I was just around Harry. I miss him so much.

 Around the time Holly was born, Lavender and Ron had a son. Out of a fit of silliness, Ron told the midwife that he would be called Strawberry (A/N lol!) so that's what's written on the poor soul's birth certificate. Strawberry and Holly have already got to know each other (as far as social interactions go for 3 year olds), and Ron seems to be getting along quite well with Draco, after all of the fights that the two of them had when we were all at Hogwarts.

 Hogwarts… even the name of my school brings pain to me. It is probably the name of the last place that Harry ever had a good time (except perhaps my bedroom, but I don't want to go into too much detail now do I?). How I wish he was still here, ready to greet me with my morning kiss.

 My feelings for Draco are that of love, but they will never expand to the capacity of my feelings for Harry. I don't think anyone, not even Draco, would expect that though. When I got married to Draco, I had feelings of dread, with part of me wishing for Harry to crash through the doors of the church ( I had insisted on a traditional Muggle wedding, complete with a beautiful white wedding dress) and object. But that never happened.

 I don't deny my feelings for Draco, I love him a lot, but I feel that I will soon be leaving him. Not just him, but Ron, my parents, Holly, the whole sodding world. I long for Harry's touch so much it's hard to believe. I feel that suicide is now my fate.

A/N: Woo! Powerful stuff, no? Believe me when I say that I need reviews. I am only 14, and this is my 2nd fic. I have never been in love (or anything that anyone could ever remotely call love), but I wish that I could! Please review! I need reviews to feed my hungry guinea pig, he's starving! And I no that it's not very long, my head hurts and I felt like leaving you all on a cliffhanger! I am evil, I know that, don't remind me!


	3. Blissful Calm

Disclaimer – Not mine, or do you think I'd be sitting here writing this crap if the characters belonged to me?

A/N – I said that there would only ever be about 3 chapters, so here it is, my last one. I hope you don't hate me too much, but this is the furthest I wanted to take it, and if I carried on, then it would get too repetitive. So here it is, the finale of Forever In His Arms. Oh yeah, and it's also got the lyrics to One Last Breath by Creed, coz the song fitted in well with my fic.

Please come now I think I'm falling  
I'm holding on to all I think is safe  
It seems I found the road to nowhere  
And I'm trying to escape  
I yelled back when I heard thunder  
But I'm down to one last breath  
And with it let me say  
Let me say

 When he died, I knew that this was it. This was the way it was going to end. I couldn't wait the length of time it would take for me to die a natural death. I had to take my own life. I hope that 3 years has done me some justice since the last time he saw me.

Hold me now  
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking  
That maybe six feet  
Ain't so far down

 I went to the drawer in the kitchen of Malfoy Manor. Draco was at work, and Holly was in the care of her muggle child minder. I myself had taken a sick day off work at the Ministry. I was tipped to be the next Minister of Magic, but after this day, no future was to be had of mine, except for that of one with Harry. Anyway, I reached into the drawer, and took hold of the large kitchen knife that I knew settled there. The house-elves were beginning to crowd round me, so I dismissed them to get on with their chores.

I'm looking down now that it's over  
Reflecting on all of my mistakes  
I thought I found the road to somewhere  
Somewhere in His grace  
I cried out heaven save me  
But I'm down to one last breath  
And with it let me say  
Let me say

I climbed up the stairs, knife in my hand, to the balcony outside of my room. I leaned over the edge, staring onto the floor, and taking into myself the last view of this world. I set my mind back to the letter that I had just written, and felt tears of remorse, the tears cold against my cheeks. I knew that now was the time, and that here was the place that I would remember forever.

Hold me now  
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking  
That maybe six feet  
Ain't so far down

 I can remember the song running through my head even now, and I remember thinking that it was much more than six feet from my position to the floor.  I brought the kitchen knife up to my face, my hand trembling as I held it, contemplating whether the use of it would really end my suffering. The next thing I can remember is plunging the knife into my wrist, and slitting it, letting the warm blood trickle down my arm, dripping from my body onto the floor. I repeated the procedure for my other wrist.

 I knew that what I should have been feeling was intense pain, but all I felt was blissful calm, and I relished the fact that I would soon be with him, be forever in his arms.

 I stood on the balcony, letting my blood drip to the floor, looking into the sky, and treasuring the fact that I was given the chance to live, and to love. When I died, I felt that feeling of my last moment, except it lasted for so much longer than that. My last moment was memories of Hogwarts, of Ron, and all of the laughs he had given me over the years; I wanted to thank him for that. There were memories of Holly, and the pride I felt when I held her to me for the first time, the love I felt for my daughter. And most of all were the memories of Harry, the memories of all of the times that he helped me, all of the times he was there for me, all of the times he comforted me when I felt upset, and most of all, all of the times he proved his love for me.

I'm looking down now that it's over  
Reflecting on all of my mistakes  
I thought I found the road to somewhere  
Somewhere in His grace  
I cried out heaven save me  
But I'm down to one last breath  
And with it let me say  
Let me say

***

"Before Hermione took her life, she left me and Holly this note:

 'Dear Draco,

                      If you're reading this now, then I am no longer in this world. Go onto the balcony, and you'll find me. I love you, and I'm happy for the times that you were there for me. I only have one request, take care of Holly for me, I love her, and I can't stand doing this to either of you. This was my only way of getting what I wanted.

 Tell Professor Dumbledore, and all of the Professors at Hogwarts that I thank them for all of the happy times that they provided for me. Tell Ron that he was my best friend, and that I thank him for everything, for making me laugh, for making me cry, for arguing with me, and for sticking up for me, no matter what. But most of all, you have to tell my parents, that I love them, and that I always will. I thank them for giving me the opportunity to live, and enjoy this world, if only for a short period of time.

 The only thing I must do now, is thank the world for coping with me, and for letting me experience it, even if my stay was not for long, I enjoyed it.

 Don't cry for me, I am where I want to be, I am happy now, and for all eternity. Do not mourn, because you have to get on with your lives, all I want you to do is remember me for who I was, remember me for being a know-it-all bookworm, a bossy little cow.

 I thank you Draco for loving me, but now, I must say my goodbyes. Goodbye world, I will treasure the memory of all of those around me forever.

Yours Forever,

Hermione Granger

A/N - That's it, that's it all over and done with. I hope you've taken the time to read this and I am so sorry that I ended it in a sad way.

Trinity


End file.
